Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but for a sect of religious homophobes, the Exclusive Brethren have what could only be described as an extremely gay name, evoking images of rugby change-room frolics, dressing up in women’s clothing and free entry to the best gay nightclubs.
Fortunately, we at 101 Uses For A John Howard have an extremely open-minded outlook, and understand that it’s hard enough being a member of an extremist cult without having to deal with the problems inherent in coming out of the closet.
The Exclusive Brethren shun contact with the outside world, extending to refusing to vote on the grounds that this interferes with God’s right to ordain who rules. Those who think that the Exclusive Brethren should probably sit down and have a bit of a read of the Electoral Act will of course burn in Hellfire for all eternity.
Now you’d think that this would spell the end of the Brethren’s involvement in political affairs. Unfortunately, they’ve recently had word that Satan has infiltrated democracy and they’ve decided that rather than expose themselves to the moral quagmire that is writing numbers on a piece of paper in a cardboard booth once every three years, they will enter the spiritually pure universe of political campaigning.
Luckily for John Howard, God’s given him the nod to be if not the Elect Vessel, at least the Elected Vessel of Australia’s Satan-raddled democracy. While the Vessel itself may indeed strongly resemble and smell like a urine sample jar, God assures us that He is in no way taking the piss, and that he has booked us an Exclusive Booth in the deepest pit of Hell with a great view of the lava lake for suggesting otherwise all the way back in Use Number 1.
Comments 4
If thats Exclusive Brethren holy water it should have a warning “contains alcohol 100% ” .
They have obviously sunk to new lows by this individual exercise of marketing this new election campaign ploy .
Deciding they cant fool people anymore with posting pamphlets with false imformation , of opposing governments that dont offer them continued freedom above the law to do as they please .
So now there new tactic is trying to get all voters so pissed ,that like themselves they wont remember how to vote .
Posted 05 Nov 2007 at 9:19 am ¶The Exclusive Brethren are exercising their God given right to promote the political party that they feel will service them best. In reality their work is a waste of time as regardless of how many common folk they manage to persuade not to abandon the saviour Mr Howard, their efforts are like poring water into a sieve. Regardless of how fast you work the water escapes out the bottom equally as fast. You can never fill the vacant space. Their refusal to vote is another vacant space. Each saved vote rather than a step forward for Mr Howard will only be compensating for the value of the vote missed by the Brethren them self. Yet they abandoned their responsibility to Australia by way of religious exemption. In this election they work for Mr Howard is a false saviour.
Posted 06 Nov 2007 at 7:55 am ¶All hail Little Johnny, the Elect Vessel, and Big Janette, the Elect Vesselette. Wait a minute, shouldn’t that be reversed? And what is she doing in a urine specimen jar? Have they no decency? I’m writing my congressman immediately. Wait a minute, which country am I in and who am I speaking to? I know, I’ll get on the horn to God. Hello, God? Sorry, wrong number, this is Satan speaking. God took a hike eons ago. For more information, contact my boys at the Exclusive Brethren.
Posted 06 Nov 2007 at 1:33 pm ¶i tink in the chinese branch of EB they call him the Erected vessel
wheres maureen?
Posted 07 Nov 2007 at 4:21 pm ¶Post a Comment