The couch is integral to the Australian way of life. Without a good couch, it is impossible to be comfortable and relaxed. Without a couch, families will be forced to eat the main meal facing each other across a dinner table, potentially resulting in conversation and thus the swift and inevitable breakdown of civilised society.
Without a couch, Australians would be bereft of sound economic management.
No economy, great or small, can survive for long without the couch. Without that vital contingency fund stashed under the cushions of every household in Australia, our complex financial system would come to a grinding halt within hours if not minutes. This is the secret behind the superb economic management of our peerless couch potato John Howard and his rather lumpen sidekick Peter Costello.
Whenever things look a bit grim (for example, perhaps it’s the start of an election campaign and pressies are a bit thin on the ground) John raises his derriere off the green leather and Peter scrabbles around under the cushions for a bit of loose change.
This time he’s emerged with around $34 billion that they didn’t know they had which is a testament to what a safe pair of hands and a top-quality Chesterfield can do to keep a trillion dollar economy like Australia’s purring along like a well-oiled machine.
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