We’ve spoken earlier about the Australian Defence Force squandering taxpayers’ money on some dud gear, but we have to hand it to the Royal Australian Navy for their pioneering research into the Chest Mounted Torpedo. For a mere $10,000 (or $5,000 a nork) brave female defenders of our waters have been kitted out with military-grade gazongas. Not only will this provide a recruiting bonanza in the male 16 to 35 demographic, they can always be fired at the enemy as a last resort.
Johnny’s been a big supporter of our armed forces and without putting too fine a point on it, he’s got a head that any red-blooded Aussie female warrior should be proud to stuff down the front of their shirt to enhance their self esteem as well as transforming them into an ultimate killing machine of the Angelique Jolie persuasion.
Unimaginative types have questioned the military and strategic advantages of breast enlargement, but the Navy will save a fortune on personal floatation devices when our enhanced supersailors are required to save kiddies who have been flung into the ocean by terrorist refugee parents (with the election coming up it should be any day now).
The Howard Governments economic rationalist approach is evident with the ADF’s policy by allowing female sailor’s to have breast implants.
No doubt the ADF will cut back on life jackets, rafts and other floatable devices given that a female sailor can now accommodate 6 crew in event of abandon ship.