We Australians love our wheat. Without wheat there would be no breakfast of champions, without wheat there would be no bread to wrap your sausage in at a barbecue, without wheat there would be no Australian Wheat Board.
The trouble with wheat is its vulnerability to various environmental factors. Australian Scientists have led the world on [...]
Apologies for the erroneous posting earlier in the day. Madness has ensued, and production of the book of the blog is underway and the wrong button got pressed. Anyway, please enjoy use number 89…
Personally, I can’t get enough information from the government. As I’m flicking the junk mail into the recycling, changing the channel on [...]
It’s a bugger, the economy. The couches of Australia are pointing emptily at brand spanking new 50″ plasma TVs, cushions bulging with spare change while everyone’s at work desperately trying to keep up with the repayments. We’ve never had it so good, it’s eco-bloody-nomic Nirvana, whack another shrimp on the barbie and crack open that [...]
Eighty seven: the Devil’s number of Australian cricket, the score all batsmen fear, and if the footage of John bowling in Kashmir in 2005 is any indication of his prowess with the ball, the only chance he would ever have of taking a wicket, although he would also need to be bowling to a batsman [...]
The couch is integral to the Australian way of life. Without a good couch, it is impossible to be comfortable and relaxed. Without a couch, families will be forced to eat the main meal facing each other across a dinner table, potentially resulting in conversation and thus the swift and inevitable breakdown of civilised society.
Without [...]
Scientists have calculated that if it were possible to harness the energy expended by John Howard’s kicking and screaming as he was dragged towards signing the Kyoto protocol, you could power every household on the planet for millions of years. Sadly, this near-infinite source of energy is far too dangerous to be toyed with as, [...]
As Clark Kent is to Superman, Peter Parker is to Spidey, Bruce Wayne is to Batman and William “Billy” Cranston is to the Blue Power Ranger, so is John Howard to Mr Sheen. Mild mannered Prime Minister by day, Australia’s most powerful cleaning product by night.
Now, while flying around the house on a magic dusting [...]
He’s come back from the dead so many times he once dubbed himself Lazarus With A Triple Bypass, but it’s all starting to look a bit more sinister than the combination of radical cardiac surgery and a divine miracle from the Son Of Our Heavenly Father.
Exhibit A: Every election we are subjected to an excruciating [...]
It’s time for bed, you’ve had a glass or two of wine and you’ve been sitting in front of the plasma TV watching election advertising all evening. They say there’s no aphrodisiac like fear and you’re convinced that the union bosses will be around to destroy the economy, abolish your job and paint TERRORISTS WELCOME [...]
We’ve spoken earlier about the Australian Defence Force squandering taxpayers’ money on some dud gear, but we have to hand it to the Royal Australian Navy for their pioneering research into the Chest Mounted Torpedo. For a mere $10,000 (or $5,000 a nork) brave female defenders of our waters have been kitted out with military-grade [...]
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