Yes, we’re up to number 69, and if you were expecting something tasteful then you really shouldn’t be reading this blog at all.
In this country, there is a rather unpleasant group of people labelled “Howard Haters”, comprising all those elitist, latte-sipping, limp-wristed, bleeding heart, sexually deviant terrorists who don’t wholeheartedly subscribe to the manner in which our fearless leader runs the place. Some might confuse this unAustralian attitude with a difference of opinion rather than the personal hatred of John Howard, but they too are Howard Hating Enemies of Freedom who will be summarily stoned on Cronulla beach as soon as a shock jock can whip up an angry enough mob.
Now just as you can’t have light without dark, good without evil or right without left, the other side of the wedge inevitably harbours the gentle souls henceforth labelled the Howard Lovers. And I’m not talking chaste, virtuous, innocent love here, I’m talking full-on hairy-palmed, get me the large-print eyechart kind of love.
You’ve probably seen some of these chaps sitting in the stainproof no-friends chair subtly situated to the far right of the screen on Insiders on Sundays mornings. These guys are, faced with the barrage of hate emanating from left of screen, absolutely filled with ardour for the little minx in the provocative trakky dacks with no available release except their own trembling, RSI-wracked right hands.
Until now. Enter the inflatable Howard love doll with all standard orifices (vibrating attachment and batteries extra). Fits neatly into the closet and guaranteed totally stainproof for up to ten years. Cries “Mister Speaker, Mister Speaker” when squeezed and will wet itself upon utterance of the phrase “George is on the line from Washington”.
Go on, you know you want one.
Comments 13
Eeeergh…. should be a warning on that one! George W would already have one, but that’s just for between presidential/prime ministerial visits…
Keep up the great work! Hopefully you’ll be able to end on #101 just after election day, when the 10-year reign comes to an end!
In the words of a friend of mine, “I don’t like the site. Very seditious.”
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 8:39 am ¶“Mister Speaker, Mister Speaker”
Oh, sweet zombie jesus that is funny!
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 9:36 am ¶Is there a male version that shouts “Mr Happy wants to play”?
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 10:09 am ¶Nick’s friends are likely to be those people sitting on the right of the screen, on Insiders.
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 10:37 am ¶Personally, I am already worrying what happens when we move from #69 to #101. I am addicted to “101 uses…”
Denis
Priceless, absolutely priceless.
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 3:13 pm ¶It’s made my night - despite being a very disturbing image. Its amazing how well Scotchguard works to keep those nasty right-wing stains off lounge chairs. I know a few people who should get some…in the mean time perhaps someone should inform the Insiders of this miracle substance.
Posted 17 Apr 2007 at 11:51 pm ¶you are one sick puppy
Posted 19 Apr 2007 at 10:53 am ¶have started a collection to get Bolt one
More please
Only one unsubscription and 8 subscriptions since the Love Doll made its debut. Good taste loses by 7. I think I’ve finally found my demographic.
Posted 20 Apr 2007 at 12:46 am ¶I want one. I’m planning to send it to Santo Santoro as a memento of his time under the great man.
Posted 21 Apr 2007 at 3:09 am ¶or barney - should that be “in” the great man so to speak (imagery very wrong). yes the demographic profile of this website is very sick but very willing to do what it takes to see little JWH to his retirement asap & have a good laugh at the Rodent at the same time.
Posted 22 Apr 2007 at 11:15 pm ¶I have always said you know a man’s political swing by which hand he uses….
Gives new meaning to the phrase “swinging voter”! LMFAO
Hey Gusface, bring on the 101 uses for Andrew Bolt!!!! And let me know when you do….
Posted 28 Apr 2007 at 11:44 am ¶How would we be able to use it?
Posted 19 Aug 2007 at 6:23 am ¶He’s such a Tight Ass!!
Who would want to blow him up?
Would you put your mouth on that?
Even My Ear canal has a bigger hole too put my pen in, let alone a pencil or pin..
But when you say Tax or Gst then the doll comes to life and opens wide up for you.
Sucks you dry and leaves your sack empty and then while you think your just about to walk away with a smile on your face, it slugs you with another GST for coming.
Posted 19 Aug 2007 at 6:43 am ¶Post a Comment