Who can honestly say they haven’t gone out for a big Saturday on the piss and woken up on Sunday morning facing a pounding hangover, a grinning garden gnome and an ever-expanding black cloud of remorse and dismay? Well, if that sounds like your last four federal elections, you’re not alone, though admittedly most hangovers don’t last 3 years and rather than being humped around the world in a backpack, the gnome gets its own private jet.
Lawn ornament has been the most suggested post-retirement occupation for our Man Of Plaster, and what better lawn for him to adorn than the grassy sward in front of the White House? Frozen conveniently in the Suckhole Position he could provide succour to American Presidents for years to come. An added bonus is that no other country’s likely to nick him, no matter how pissed they might be at the time.
Credit for this one to a multitude, though it was on my To Do list from the start. Bruce gets an extra nod for suggesting the White House lawn.
Surely there is an enterprising Young Liberal out there who can cut his entrepreneurial teeth on the bulk manufacture of this magnificent icon. Supporters of the Born To Rule Party can sport them in their dried up lawns, just in front of the flag pole.
In centuries to come, quizzical archeologists from alien realms will ponder the abundance of these miniature totems, correctly assuming they were a last ditch effort to placate the Great God Satan for the continued reign of His Chosen One at the arse end of the world.
Love the puckered lips look.
Can we bring on the next Federal Election to 3 weeks away, to get over the pain of waiting to get rid of the real garden gnome?. And then we can wheel out his embalmed persona, as a plastic replica Gnome (surely not “real enough” to go the full concrete version). Then we could give him a fresh coat of paint, ready for action on George W’s front lawn.
I suggest we send some dinamic lifter to the white house,for use around the gnome,a reminder of the gnomes IR policies.
well that shatters my beleif in santa and cute garden gnomes