At first glance spending $90 million to put a chaplain in every state school might seem like a lot of money. This is until you realise that by incorporating godbotherers into our hitherto godless government educational institutions, the Prime Minister has saved us the millions of taxpayer dollars that were previously spent funding religious private schools.
Soon no school will be without its own vicar, priest, swami, friar, monk, mystic, bhagwan, rabbi, evangelist, shaman, witch doctor, maharishi, warlock or imam. If a school chaplain’s particular brand of imaginary friend doesn’t coincide with that of the student, then the chaplain will be happy to maintain an open mind and respect the beliefs of the wayward child involved, which has been a noted strength of all religions throughout the ages.
Even agnostics and atheists will benefit, as there’s nothing worse than spending an eternal damnation in a hell you don’t believe in. Some chaplains may even be willing to set the record straight on such tricky subjects as evolution and the more adventurous may be cajoled into providing a comprehensive and hands-on sex education for certain selected students.
However, 101 Uses believes that Johnny hasn’t gone far enough. The way to a child’s immortal soul is through its stomach and the sooner Jesus gets into the nation’s tuckshops the better. Not only will the miraculous conjuration of loaves and fishes save a fortune, but hopefully the extra omega 3 fatty acids will also make the next generation smart enough to know superstitious mumbo jumbo when they hear it.
Comments 10
This is a lead up to ‘The Family First’ coalition. John ‘Adolf Hitler’ Howard is adopting the Bush administration
Posted 07 Nov 2006 at 8:53 pm ¶ur a tossa mate, why would you say godbotherers? if you took the time to know god instead of speaking shit about others you would understand.
faggot
Posted 08 Nov 2006 at 10:46 am ¶Hi Josh, I took your advice and got to know god. He said that while you’re a shining example to all godbotherers, could you possibly keep the noise down a bit. It bothers him while he’s watching Queer As Folk.
Posted 08 Nov 2006 at 2:59 pm ¶Cheers mate
In these energy-conscious times, let’s all pray that the flames used to burn heretics were recycled to heat the bakery oven …. and that fish-nets were attached to witch-dunking stools.
Posted 08 Nov 2006 at 9:47 pm ¶If John Howard and his chaplains can teach us all to walk on water before global warming really kicks in and floods our cities, it’ll be $90 million well spent!
Posted 13 Nov 2006 at 1:46 pm ¶you should get a life and stop bitching about others. i dont see by you doing any of this critical crap helping anything. get a real job:D
Posted 14 Nov 2006 at 2:18 pm ¶if u wana argue this out somewhere els add me to ur msn if can afford it
billabong_ripcurl_99@hotmail.com cheers mate:)
Posted 14 Nov 2006 at 2:20 pm ¶Well Josh, as much as the prospect of engaging in an in-depth debate with a godbotherer of your undoubted intellectual caliber excites me, the only time I have free in my diary is never. I’ll pencil you in.
Posted 14 Nov 2006 at 2:36 pm ¶omg this is so stupid lol im still in highschool and i was just researching some comical stuff to write up a commical piece of my own and i saw you say godbotherers and i kinda didnt like that so i just posted that msg but yeah. i never meant for it to go this far but im sorry for calling you faggot. no hard feelings;)
Posted 14 Nov 2006 at 7:17 pm ¶Josh, Jesus has already forgiven you. Now do your homework and go to bed. Hands above the sheets, young man.
Posted 14 Nov 2006 at 9:46 pm ¶Post a Comment