101 Uses for a John Howard

Two things can be said for crash test dummies:

1. They won’t cut and run.

2. They’ll stay the course.

Dummies are also damn near indestructible, which is just as well because staying the course generally results in an almighty bingle, though it seems that the Australian version is considerably harder-wearing than the UK and US versions.

Luckily for the dummy, the consequences of failing to cut and run, or even just tapping the brakes, are not the dummy’s problem, as it’s not actually in control of the vehicle.

Now, some may say that strapping yourself into a tank and driving full-throttle at a brick wall is no way to run a country, but in John’s defence, the tank has probably been purchased at a fair price from our close allies the United States, so most likely won’t make it all the way to the wall without breaking down.