Officially he’s George W’s Man Of Steel, but in recently declassified CIA documents, his codename is actually the Man Of Fungus. Admittedly the discrepancy could simply be due to George getting his words a bit muddled, but apparently that’s for him to know and us to find out.
When it comes to being kept in the dark and fed bullshit, John puts your average shiitake to shame. The only people less forthcoming than our close allies the US are the public service who manage to shield the PM from minor details such as pretty much everything.
The reason John goes for his morning constitutional is actually in the hope that he’ll bump into somebody who’ll tell him what’s going on, so if you do see him powerwalking around Kirribilli with that slightly puzzled expression on his face, do him a favour and give him a quick rundown of the week’s events. Nobody else will.
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