Popular legend has it that a goldfish has a memory of exactly 3 seconds, making every lap of the fishbowl a voyage of discovery. While goldfish memory is debatable, it has been scientifically proven that the maximum length of a politician’s memory is 3 years, with a few months knocked off for bad behaviour in the case of an early election. This evolutionary trait enables the politician to profess absolutely no knowledge of any promise made before being voted in, saving the country from financial ruin and the politician from any tiny vestige of shame he or she may still be capable of.
Political memory is a difficult concept to grasp for the latte-sipping elites who frequently and tiresomely boast about their excellent recall and who distinctly remember John Howard stating that he would never-ever introduce a GST. Their astonishment and dismay when they have to pay an extra 10% for their frothy and effete beverages warms the heart of all true-blue Aussies boiling their billy with a couple of GST-free gumleaves thrown in.
It’s intriguing to ponder what sort of memory would be possessed by the product of John Howard and a gold-medallist Olympic swimmer. Mating would be a simple matter of locking the successful swimmer in a room with John for a few minutes after the medal presentation, preferably with the swimmer sedated, though that would only serve to spare the swimmer some unpleasant memories of their own.
Thoeries exist that the union would result in the perfect politician, capable of totally forgetting any question put to it before the journalist had finished asking it. If it all went horribly wrong and their offspring possessed no mental function whatsoever, it could still fill a niche in society and become a swimming commentator.
Thanks to Hugh for this one.
Some years ago, we actually saw a fish at the Melbourne Aquarium that bore a striking resemblance to John Howard. Your drawing is so close, it’s not funny.
Yeah, does anyone else remember what the interest rates were when Johnny was Treasurer in the Fraser Government? How’s that for ‘short memory’?
I don’t know what’s worse, though: politicians with short memories, or the people with short memories that continue to vote for the politicians with short memories….