101 Uses for a John Howard

A common fallacy perpetrated by Bush-haters around the world (you know who you are - yes, you with the latte) is that George Dubya presented a plastic Thanksgiving turkey to the troops in Iraq in 2003. This shows not only an ignorance of the facts, but also shows enormous disrespect for the time and effort Dubya and his spin section put into faking up a photo opportunity.

The turkey in question was actually a totally legitimate “prop” or “trophy” turkey created by a professional prop turkey decorator, probably the same person they got in to make Saddam Hussein look like Osama bin Laden. The proof of the prop turkey is in the looking rather than the eating, making it a most appropriate centrepiece for the event, perhaps only superseded by the turkey running madly around the yard after having its head cut off. The only question is why they didn’t whomp up a prop WMD for George as well.

John, and possibly Tony Blair, though he seems to be a bit overdone, could become founding members of the Coalition Of Poultry (or COP for short) and in return for being personally stuffed by George, will be parachuted in (turkeys being a flightless bird) to Axis Of Evil hotspots around the world, bringing democracy and Thanksgiving to the oppressed. This would be an appropriate tribute to the invasion of Iraq, which has turned out to be the biggest turkey of them all.