As the Freedom Of Information Act rapidly descends from irony to farce, it is worth considering whether it would be simpler for John to scrap the Act entirely and invest in Maxwell Smart’s favourite gadget, the Cone of Silence (shoe phone excepted on the grounds that Telstra would charge you $500 every time you tied your laces).
With the new That’s For Us To Know And You To Find Out Act, two plastic domes and some PVC piping, government could save everyone a great deal of time and embarrassment by totally removing the connection betweeen what they’re telling us and what’s actually going on, allowing them to sack legions of spin merchants in favour of a battery of creative writers, greatly benefiting the arts community.
Imagine, no more embarrassing Maxwell Smart exchanges at press conferences:
“Iraq is chock-full of WMD!”
“Would you believe ten scud missiles and a bag of anthrax…?”
“Okay, how about ten used toilet rolls and a bag of self-raising flour?”
And the best part is that the Cone of Silence traditionally makes it impossible for the two people inside the Cone to even hear what each other is saying, freeing us from Max and John’s favourite catchphrase “I asked you not to tell me that.”
Thanks to Andrew for the Cone of Silence idea.
Brilliant! Of course the big joke of the cone of silence was that Max and Chief couldn’t hear each other either when they were inside, so why not roll out a cone for every Australian and eliminate discussion or debate of all kinds?
cone of ignorenece(w.o.m.d)