Uh oh! Looks like Thomas has declared Jihad on the degenerate Western infidels. Luckily, the Fat Controller has new Megaphone Powers which enable him to protect democracy when the courts inevitably get everything wrong by allowing him to tell so-called “innocent” terrorists what to do.
Little is known about exactly what Thomas’ nefarious plot was, though it probably has something to do with the large load of coal he’s carrying. Burning that inside Australia could cause our polar icecaps to melt, ruining large tracts of prime waterfront real estate. The usual procedure is to export the coal for burning overseas where it can melt their polar icecaps and not cause ruinous climate change over here. After all, you can’t be too careful when it comes to the safety of ordinary Australians.
Fortunately, Thomas is now banned from calling Osama, and those who say that he was hardly likely to phone him anyway are just proving that the new Megaphone Powers are working. Apparently, anti-terror experts have confiscated Thomas’ speed-dial for questioning.
You are an absolute genius keep up the good work
and i must say WHAT DO WE WANT HOWARD OUT WHEN DO WE WANT IT NOW
Spot on. Currently policy seems to be roughly analogous to poking a hornets nest with a big stick. Boy do I feel safe now that Jihad Jack’s not allowed to phone Al-Qaeda. Congratulations Australia, your choclate ration has been increased to 20gms.