There are people in Australia (it is said) who don’t enjoy reading junk mail. There are even those who don’t find it educational and informative. There are even (and just suspend disbelief here for a moment) some Australians who don’t think that spending $60 million on political advertising before the next election is a good use of taxpayers’ hard-earned and that lying by leaflet should be left to religions and the private sector.
John Howard is not one of those people. After all, he was the guy who brought you a factual depiction of the blissful utopia that he is transforming the workplace into for (depending on who you believe) around $50 million of your dollars. If that seems an awful lot to you, take into account that part of the campaign involved building a functioning time machine to bring back actual images from the future so as not to mislead the public in any way, shape or form.
Sitting members have had their previously quite measly allowances modestly increased so that they can provide you with factual information on which to make an informed decision when it comes time to vote. Naturally, this information will be even-handed, possibly even “fair and balanced” and not favour the sitting member over other candidates in the election as that would be quite undemocratic. Non-sitting candidates who don’t have access to these allowances may well claim this isn’t true, but if they manage to be elected, they will suddenly discover that it in fact is true, and will possibly even send you a fridge magnet explaining their conversion in some detail.
Johnny’s the perfect person to don the canvas bag and pound the streets, informing the nation. He could have most of Kirribilli informed before breakfast. Fortunately, your humorous “no junk mail” stickers will not stop you receiving this vital literature as political junk mail is a higher class of fiction. I suppose the only recourse of the churlish minority would be to return to sender c/o Kirribilli House, Kirribilli Ave, Kirribilli, 2061, Sydney, NSW or invest in a large angry dog and a long leash.
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