Throw away your crutches, walking frame, false teeth, insulin, asthma inhaler, eyeglasses, rubber underpants etc, because healing is upon you! Why put your faith in those amateur peddlers of hope in scientific research when you can go with the professionals?
That’s right, after the wildly successful experiment of making Reverend Tony Abbott Health Minister, the Department [...]
Peter Costello may like to think of himself as Australia’s number one aphrodisiac, but if we’re using power as the y-axis, then I’m afraid Pete’s the bridesmaid yet again (the fat one in the pink dress with the enormous bow on the back who may score a sympathy shag with the spotty guy with the [...]
There are people in Australia (it is said) who don’t enjoy reading junk mail. There are even those who don’t find it educational and informative. There are even (and just suspend disbelief here for a moment) some Australians who don’t think that spending $60 million on political advertising before the next election is a good [...]
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter’d visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp’d on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock’d [...]
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
And I’ll tell them to piss off back where they came from!
In the little guy’s mind at least, he already bestrides the world stage not unlike the fabled Colossus of Rhodes. As [...]
So, where is this “Unaustralia” we’ve heard so much about? Well, as you’ll soon understand, you can’t find it on a map, but the directions are simple:
1. Get yourself a map of Australia and a pair of sharp scissors (make sure there aren’t any responsible adults in the room).
2. Cut, or “excise” carefully around the [...]
Couldn’t give a fig what the rest of the world thinks about you? Well, perhaps just a little fig… in that case, nothing conceals your little problem from view like a fig leaf.
Pictured here somewhere in quite a nice garden somewhere in Iraq is one of the earlier attempts at homo sapiens about to scoff [...]
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.”
Wilkins Micawber, David Copperfield
Sorry to get all high school English on you and start quoting Charles Dickens, but it now seems the Reserve Bank have decided the above Micawber Principle goes rather [...]
Bananas are the new boat people. Inflation rises: blame the banana, interest rates go up: blame the banana, unemployment increases: blame the banana, erectile dysfunction: blame the banana.
What’s the betting there’s a tense standoff over a boatload of terrorist bananas trying to enter the country illegally during the next election campaign? Little Johnny stands firm [...]
RSS
