At the first shout of “Kids overboard!” John will be in the water making sure the little buggers don’t sink until we can get some incriminating photographs. You may notice the warning “THIS IS NOT A LIFE SAVING DEVICE” which is quite unfair. John is clearly saving countless Australian lives from terrorist attack in this [...]
There’s nothing worse than biting into a bright red juicy ripe apple, full of tangy, crunchy promise and having that danged core get in the way of your eating pleasure. Well, there’s no-one more efficient at removing that pesky core than John Howard. Sure, by the time he’s finished with it, it’s not quite as [...]
He just keeps going and going and going, way past the time you expected or perhaps even wanted him to stop. Unfortunately, the Treasurer seems to be using an inferior brand of AA.
As the old song goes:
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
Don’t give the Treasurer his fun, fun, fun
He’ll get by without his rabbit [...]
Johnny’s ability to sniff the political wind has appeared at times to be almost supernatural, thus indefinitely postponing his transformation from rooster to feather duster. Here’s your chance to own a weathercock that can actually predict changes in the wind.
The theory at 101 Johnny Central is the reason that most ALP ministers walk around with [...]
After thirty-odd years on federal parliament, it’s about time Johnny moved on to something a bit more substantial and in a way it’s like his entire political career has been a training ground for becoming host of Deal Or No Deal. You’ve basically got a whole studio of people trying desperately to guess how much [...]
Here at 101 Uses for a John Howard Headquarters, we have a policy of avoiding toilet references as much as possible in the vain hope of not lowering the tone any more than is strictly necessary. However, politics is a dirty game and no matter how dirty it gets, on Johnny the shit never seems [...]
Simple pleasures aside, at first glance there seems little point in strapping Johnny to a firework and shooting him into the sky merely (and possibly even ironically) to celebrate the independence day of a foreign country.
Well, that’s the sort of typically anti-American, terrorist-loving treason I’ve come to expect from you people. We are an integral [...]
Due process? We don’t need no steenkin due process! The terrorists want to destroy our way of life and the only way to thwart them is by getting in first. Judges can’t be trusted to uphold the values of Western Civilisation, except the bit about an independent judiciary and that’s just self-serving unrepresentative left-wing crap.
Judge [...]
RSS