It’s that time of the year again. All over the country, ever-expanding families are blowing their baby bonuses on wide-screen plasma TVs to give each other on Howmas Day. The only person not celebrating is Peter Costello who has just been visited by the Ghost of Howmas Future and didn’t receive the gladdest of tidings.
Anyway, once a year, Johnny could be dipped in wax (he’s quite used to it - every spring he visits the local tanning salon for a full Brazilian to neaten up the speedo line for the beach season - try getting that image out of your head before your next meal) and placed on his own special birthday cake with “Happy Birthday” picked out in Liberal Party blue M&Ms.
Sadly for Peter, rather than jumping out of the cake, he gets deputised to blow out the candle and here’s the hilarious part, it’s impossible to extinguish, no matter how hard you blow. The only discernible change apart from a lingering smell of singed eyebrow as years merge into decades is that he might run a bit, just making his lower lip jut out ever more belligerently.
For an extra chortle, every three years or so Kim Beazley gets invited along to lend his not-inconsiderable windpower to this amusingly Sisyphean task. Laugh? You might as well.
Thanks to Bruce Edwards for an assist on this one.
Post a Comment